Author Topic: I think we lost another member  (Read 780 times)

Atash Hagmahani

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I think we lost another member
« on: January 26, 2009, 10:50:04 AM »
At the rate we are losing members, this forum will soon be dead.

I'm not sure what happened, but I am wondering if it was bullying. It's hard to find out, because they're usually gone before I can talk to them and collect more information and try to work it out.

I'm not sure what to do about it. I don't understand why some people blow up just because someone else has a different opinion than their own. I'm also concerned about a lot of confrontational language in posts. I suspect that some people don't even realize that they're doing it; it's just the way they have learned to communicate. Television does not help, as it has normalized what used to be considered rude behavior.

Any ideas how we can do better? How can we...

...build group rapport?
...use that group rapport to build up higher standards for friendly, respectful communication?

 sad23
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Rusty Shackelford

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Re: I think we lost another member
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2009, 12:00:49 PM »
Do you have a list of e-mails for members?  I know I provided an e-mail when I signed up (it's a 'special' account that I only use for this stuff).  Have you thought about sending a personal message?  On another board I participate on, the moderator would send out an e-mail to "non-participating" member noting a few "recent topics you might have missed."  I had joined, posted once or twice and forgot about it.  Couple of months later the e-mail popped into my box.  I've been posting on that forum regularly for about 6 or 7 years now.

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oscar615

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Re: I think we lost another member
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2009, 12:06:09 PM »
I haven't noticed any real bullying. ie people ganging up on others and deriding them.  Especially not like I see on some other forums.  There are differences in opinion but that is to be expected, even cherished in life.  How else would we start thinking and learning?  I think it is sad if people are leaving just because of opinion differences.  Maybe they are leaving because they don't see what we see?  Or they are to sensitive? Or lazy? Or would rather not know what is happening?  I don't know.  But I enjoy the rapport and learning opportunities given by this forum.  In fact I have dropped off of other forums and this is the only one I use daily.  I may still check in with the others on a monthly basis or something.  But I look forward to checking in with this one.

I will think over your questions and see if I can help come up with some solutions.

I know we are spread around the US and even other countries.  Might help if some of us met.  Then you put a person with a name.  Make one feel as if they are part of something.  It is more real then.  Although I am not sure logistically how that would happen. Pick a central location to meet and go from there? And I suppose it would only be the most regular members who would go to such a thing.  And then only if they could afford at the time or get off work that sort of thing.

I know my family and I are planning on going on a camping trip this summer through the NW part of the country, and I am planning on trying to contact some people while I am on that trip.  You know maybe go to dinner in the different spots along the trip.  Of course this is contingent on the state of affairs, in the nation and in my family, at that time.

I will ponder some more and see what I can come up with.
« Last Edit: January 26, 2009, 12:08:33 PM by oscar615 »
Get your head in the game.

Atash Hagmahani

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Re: I think we lost another member
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2009, 12:11:50 PM »
Yes, face-to-face interactions would help.

Once someone deletes his/her account, all contact info goes with it.
« Last Edit: January 26, 2009, 02:47:56 PM by Atash Hagmahani »
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opsec

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Re: I think we lost another member
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2009, 03:27:18 PM »
I hope I didn't chase anybody away.
"The difference between a pessimist and an optimist is that the pessimist usually has more information"

"Where law ends tyranny begins. Where law begins, tyranny becomes legal"

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Rusty Shackelford

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Re: I think we lost another member
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2009, 03:39:29 PM »
I hope I didn't chase anybody away.

I'm having nightmares about that squirrel.
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Ryder

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Re: I think we lost another member
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2009, 03:40:27 PM »
Opsec don't worry about it you contribute on a very regular basis with courteous thought provoking comments.
  Maybe we need a grouch O meter rating on everybodys avatar. From surpy sweet to habanero hot. :laughing002:
  Getting this site known more would increase numbers I'm sure there has to be a lot of folks out there who would sign up if they just knew about it.
  Atash, have you ever thought of or have you been on Coast to Coast or Whitley Striebers? My wife did a brief interview on a web site once and we got responses from the nation and the world.
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opsec

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Re: I think we lost another member
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2009, 03:42:21 PM »
I know...I'll quit making canibal jokes. I'm sure that was at least part of the reason.
"The difference between a pessimist and an optimist is that the pessimist usually has more information"

"Where law ends tyranny begins. Where law begins, tyranny becomes legal"

"Truth is hate to those that hate truth".

offdalip

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Re: I think we lost another member
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2009, 04:03:22 PM »
operational security, keep your squirrel, please . it just cracks me up thinking of that guy chasing the very last nut of the ice age
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Rusty Shackelford

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Re: I think we lost another member
« Reply #9 on: January 26, 2009, 04:21:48 PM »
I know...I'll quit making canibal jokes. I'm sure that was at least part of the reason.

How did I miss this cannibal joke?
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Eddie

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Re: I think we lost another member
« Reply #10 on: January 26, 2009, 05:10:40 PM »
Hi Atash,

The newbie still here. I guess you'll never have anything from me to complain about since I can never find any of the former threads. I usually spend a lot of time talking to myself anyways.

Nice site by the way....its good to have some people who are thinking in the same direction I am.

opsec

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Re: I think we lost another member
« Reply #11 on: January 26, 2009, 07:15:10 PM »
You can't access old threads in the forums?

Quote
How did I miss this cannibal joke?

I occassionally make references to the use of canibalism as a catch-all solution to problems for which I have no other immediate solution. I can't find the thread right now, but somebody posted the following: Two canibals are eating a clown, one canibal turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?"
« Last Edit: January 26, 2009, 07:25:19 PM by opsec »
"The difference between a pessimist and an optimist is that the pessimist usually has more information"

"Where law ends tyranny begins. Where law begins, tyranny becomes legal"

"Truth is hate to those that hate truth".

Rusty Shackelford

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Re: I think we lost another member
« Reply #12 on: January 26, 2009, 08:15:32 PM »
You can't access old threads in the forums?

Quote
How did I miss this cannibal joke?

I occassionally make references to the use of canibalism as a catch-all solution to problems for which I have no other immediate solution. I can't find the thread right now, but somebody posted the following: Two canibals are eating a clown, one canibal turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?"

There was about a two-month period when I couldn't access the forum at all.  I still have to use an anonymizer to access the site now.  Occasionally, I try without it and it just locks up the window.  I have no idea why.   
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Eddie

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Re: I think we lost another member
« Reply #13 on: January 26, 2009, 08:36:07 PM »
re:You can't access old threads in the forums?

Its not exactly the easiest forum to navigate on. The easier ones have a heading above each topic that says where its located, like "general Conversation" or something like that.

Eddie

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Re: I think we lost another member
« Reply #14 on: January 26, 2009, 08:39:48 PM »
I think Im getting it now after a little more observing. This thread is under "announcements" and I see it now stated at the top. Maybe Im drinking to much.

 

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